Monthly Archives: February 2012

It’s all about Me, Me, Me.

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One of the things I dislike about being an independent musician is the constant need for self-promotion. As an artist, a creative being, I just want to create, make my music, write my books, but that’s not enough in today’s fast-paced world. The internet has become a great tool for independent creative types, but it also makes for a larger sea of people, vying for attention, “Look at my work! Listen to my songs!”

My career has had many ebbs and flows, and will undoubtedly continue that way, such is the life of a writer/musician/artist/actor. It’s an unfortunate necessity that one has to continually blow one’s foghorn. It does work; a great portion of my clients find me online without me advertising, either through social networking on Twitter, for example, or just by search engine (which is why SEO is important). The creative personality is not geared towards marketing, promotion, SEO, blah blah blah, but until we are earning enough or have a high enough public profile, we have to just grit our teeth and do it.

I have to admit, my fragile ego worries people think I’m conceited, always talking about myself and linking to my wares. To me, it seems so repetitive to always be shouting about myself, like a market trader flogging knock-off gear, but I have to acquiesce it’s essential. I always think the product (and I hate using that word for art) speaks for itself, or should do. On the other side of the transaction, I listen to word of mouth recommendations more than I would ever pay attention to a glossy marketing drive, but ho hum, such is life. I don’t like being told what I should like, should listen to, should buy, but I think I’m in the minority, else a whole industry wouldn’t thrive in advertising.

I have to separate the creator part of myself from the business part. I have no interest in marketing, but I’m going to have to resign myself to plugging away until I’m in the position of  ‘hiring that shit out’, as a colourful LA-based rock musician I know would say.

Oh by the way, did you buy my book yet?

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It’s Just A Ride

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“The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think that it’s real because that’s how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills, and it’s very brightly coloured, and it’s very loud and it’s fun, for a while.

Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question – is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us. They say ‘Hey! Don’t worry, don’t be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride.’ And we…kill those people. Ha ha ha. ‘Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride. SHUT HIM UP! Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and family. This just has to be real.’

It’s just a ride.

But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn’t matter because: it’s just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings, and money.

A choice, right now, between fear and love.

The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourselves off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here’s what you can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defence each year, and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, for ever, in peace.”

~ Bill Hicks

Your Heart’s A Mess…and so’s my flat.

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Just an excuse to post a Gotye video, really.

Speaking of mess, though, my flat really is a tip. I know I need to tackle it because it’s not like the past, when I could just leave stuff until I returned, there is no coming back this time. I’ve always subscribed to the ‘if you don’t think about it, it doesn’t exist’ method of dealing with tasks, and I’m well aware it doesn’t work haha.

I don’t know where to start. My mum reckons I have OCD – ha, like she can talk, my hoarding comes from her and in turn her mother. But at least Nanny only hoarded useful stuff and it all had a place in the home, tucked neatly away. My flat is just a huge mass of possessions that have never had a home because there’s not enough space here (I moved from a 3-bed house).

I’ve not been able to be fully productive musically because my instruments are spread over the city in various houses, and as for the stuff that could actually get thrown out (if someone ever manages to prise it from my bony fingers), there’s that issue of throwing stuff out. Not just parting with belongings – and I do find that nearly impossible – but the other issue of adding to a landfill, wasting materials, chucking items with plenty of use in them etc.

My sister says I should just chuck everything and stop being hung up on recycling, but I feel bad doing so. The planet has enough junk smothering her and if I’m not part of the solution I don’t want to be part of the problem by lobbing another bag on the heap.

I read on another blog about a hoarder losing their camera on holiday and feeling forlorn that the camera was lonely and what if it wasn’t being used and cared for…I can so relate! I’ve also figured out I hold onto possessions because I had to work hard to afford them and, more importantly, they are constants in my life (more on object permanence in a later blog).

Thing is, the possessions that give me so much enjoyment and pleasure are also limiting my personal growth. And with my flight booked for a few weeks’ time, I really need to get moving. I can’t just bury my head under the duvet and hope it all goes away. As overwhelmed as I am with the task ahead, I don’t have anyone to do it for me and so I have to get on with it. When it’s done, I’ll be lighter in many ways and hopefully learn to live with less in the future so I don’t experience this dread again.

And back to Gotye!

Hola! Or should I say γεια

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My life is going through a lot of big changes right now and I’ve decided to keep my personal and professional blogging separate. People are welcome to read either, but it just makes for a more streamlined read and allows me to be a lot more frank with sharing my thoughts and experiences.

Too tired and distracted to write any more right now, I need to sleep! I just don’t like new wordpress blogs with that standard first post.

Goodnight. Gute Nacht. Bon nuit. Buenas noches. καληνύχτα.

(I have to keep up with my language lessons in equal measure) 🙂